So, how’s your March Madness bracket faring? Starting to smell like last
Friday’s fish? Join the queue.
Here at FishOn, we’re huge college HoopHeads, at least from the beginning
of the NCAA tournament right until the bitter end. Then we go back to
treating Div. 1 men’s college basketball like the incessant and
scandal-ridden cesspool it’s become.
But now we have an alternative: Check out the March Mammal Madness bracket (
bit.ly/2FbS6jP) devised by anthropologist Katie Hind of Arizona State
The bracket pits mammals — including marine mammals — against one another
in tournament format, almost as if the mascots are playing the games
instead of, you know, people.
So, for instance, in the Urban Jungle regional, you’ve got a Cape Town
baboon going up against a common hedgehog (no contest, baboon all the way)
and a Moscow dog versus a sewer rat in a reprise of just about every day in
Moscow. Boy, we hope they’re showing these on the Nature Channel.
The highest concentration of marine mammals appears in the When the Kat’s
Away regional, with the horseshoe crab pitted against a secretary bird, the
cookiecutter shark playing a common octopus and the alligator snapping
turtle facing the mantis shrimp.
In the Great Adaptions regional, the star-nosed mole, who really digs in on
defense, might be the second No. 16 seed in history — hello sweet
Virginia — to topple a No. 1 seed if the blind little burrower takes out
the pygmy hippo, who is almost impossible to move out of the paint.
The Antecessors regional features 16 extinct creatures. Now that’s old
We analyzed the matchups, read the scouting reports, took a nap, had a
snack and now feel comfortable with our pick to win it all: Say hello to
the 2018 March Madness Mammal champeen — the alligator snapping turtle. Go